DEAR MISS MANNERS: I found a woman’s pockets mendacity on the bottom within the parking zone of a grocery retailer. I examined the contents and located that it contained a driver’s license, bank cards, insurance coverage playing cards, a vaccination certificates and different necessary types of identification, however no cash.
Her tackle was close by, and I used to be capable of get her cellphone quantity on-line, so I known as to inform her that I’d discovered her pockets and would drive over to return it.
She sounded excited and grateful, however after I arrived, she instantly inspected it to see how a lot cash was there earlier than giving me a disenchanted look.
I defined that I’d discovered the pockets empty of money, however she appeared unhappy, maybe silently questioning if I’d taken what had been there. She then handed me a dusty bottle of wine as a present and thanked me once more, rapidly escorting me to the door.
I like serving to others and don’t subscribe to the adage that “no good deed goes unpunished.” Nonetheless, I’m wondering how I might have dealt with this case otherwise. Ought to I’ve simply mailed the pockets anonymously slightly than returning it in individual?
I don’t essentially have to be rewarded for doing the suitable factor — nevertheless, I don’t wish to be scrutinized as a possible felony for doing so, both.
GENTLE READER: You and Miss Manners have in widespread not eager to punish good deeds, so maybe you may as well agree that advantage might be its personal reward. As in: She thanked you, maybe not as graciously as she might have, however you continue to did the suitable factor.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems that I’m old school. I do not need a cellphone. I do not need caller identification. I do not need an answering machine. After I obtain a cellphone name, I’ve no technological help in figuring out the caller.
My dad and mom instructed me to all the time start a cellphone name by figuring out myself, akin to: “That is Kristen; might I communicate with …” This apply appears to have fallen outdated; after I reply the cellphone, only a few of my callers introduce themselves.
Though I do acknowledge the voices of household and shut buddies, there are a lot of callers whose voices are unfamiliar, prompting me to ask, “With whom am I talking?”
My query is commonly adopted with a pause, as if I’ve simply insulted the caller by not recognizing their voice or their identification. Have the foundations modified? Is it nonetheless applicable to determine oneself on the graduation of a cellphone name?
GENTLE READER: It’s all the time well mannered to determine oneself, however in as of late of practically ubiquitous caller identification, individuals have begun to imagine that the expertise has accomplished that for them.
The caller might not even notice it has not been accomplished. Miss Manners suggests you defuse the scenario with, “Excuse me, however I’ve an old school phone. With whom am I talking?” Whereas it’s unusually thought of insulting (or self-deprecating) to label an individual old school, it shouldn’t harm your phone.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, firstname.lastname@example.org; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.